dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
