STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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