im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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