I heard we made out
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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