Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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