Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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