this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
