I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
