there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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