Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
