my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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