We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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