Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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