i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
