Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
