Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
