Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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