At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
