I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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