Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
