sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
