YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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