If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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