just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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