Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
