That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
