yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
