i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i now understand why vodka
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I love you.
Bad choice
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize