I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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