So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
