So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize