At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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