So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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