I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
