Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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