My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
