Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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