Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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