My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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