well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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