we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
