I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
