Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
