I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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