I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
