We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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