I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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