so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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