i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
