I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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