We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
