as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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