The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
