Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
