i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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