last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
