hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
