Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
