i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All the doctor said was why
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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