I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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