Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
