is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
