So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
