my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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