Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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