i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
