If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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